Saturday 3 December 2011

The Relationship Age

Pay attention.  We are coming to the end of the Information Age and have  now entered the Age of Relationships.  The signs are everywhere.  It permeates every industry.  It is part of the globalization of everything from business to governments to resources to weather to our very survival.  The younger generations were raised with collaboration and that sense of being interconnected.  Relationships give you motivation, inspiration, ideas, and encouragement.  Yet, in many industries, including the construction industry, this is something we have yet to embrace.  Perhaps it is because of the technical nature of the industry.  Perhaps it is because of the typical emotional intelligence profile of the people in the industry.  Empirically, relationships are not our best thing.  Every single group I have ever worked with over the past 12 years have the same profile.  The three lowest scores on the EQi are ALWAYS emotional self-awareness, empathy, and interpersonal relationships.  The three highest scores are ALWAYS assertiveness, independence, and self-regard.  This is a recipe for relationship disaster.  No wonder it's such a hard business.

It's time that we tackle these tough people issues and embrace these collaborative concepts.  Focusing on relationships is no longer touchy-feely.  Neuroscience is verifying many of these concepts of connection from a physiological standpoint.  We all have mirror neurons in our brains that mirror the emotions of the person sitting across from us.  They light up and connect us together whether we are aware of it or not.  We can no longer ignore these interpersonal connections.

In South Africa, they have a philosophy called Ubuntu.  It is a sense of being connected to everyone else on the planet.  When two people greet each other, the first person says, "I see you."  The second person responds by saying, "I am here."  There is real significance in that exchange.  Without the acknowledgement from the first person, the second person doesn't even exist.  Imagine the power of that if you walked down the hallway and was pre-occupied with something and didn't greet the other person.  What you would be saying is that they don't exist.  I believe that this philosophy prevented South Africa from devolving into a bloody civil war after apartheid ended.  The black South Africans merely moved on and embraced the end of apartheid without retribution, without punishing the whites.  It is because they feel so interconnected.  They believe that if they harm someone else, they are harming themselves.

Can we move toward this sense of being connected?  Can we embrace this new way of collaborating?  Can we change the industry for the better by focusing on people and relationships?  Time will tell.  As Ben Franklin said, "We must hang together or we shall surely hang separately."


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Friday 2 December 2011

Should You Leave?

It's not easy letting go of people and things you are attached to. You're all humans with mixed emotions. This is one reason why separation from your better half can be nerve-wracking at times. However, everyone has to make such a decision in their lifetime whether to leave or remain with their partner or spouse. There are many reasons why couples depart from one another such as, domestic abuse, infidelity, lacking chemistry, financial dilemma or communication issues. Whatever, your situation may be it's best to make a decision that's logical and beneficial at the same time.


2)    If you're in a condition where domestic abuse is predominant then removing yourself from that environment is the best option. I do understand that being in such a predicament isn't easy because you might feel threatened or scarred.  Perhaps you're thinking to yourself he loves me even though physically and emotionally he's tarring you a part. This is defiantly not a good situation for anyone to be in. If you are currently involved in a domestic abuse issue and need further assistance there are many resources available to you. You can visit The Hot Line or help for the abuse. You can also reach out to various programs which support domestic victims such as "Safe Horizon: Moving victims of violence from crisis to confidence".


3)    If you're in a totally different situation that involves infidelity then it's up to you to make a decision if a second chance is doable or move on. If you decide to give your partner the benefit of a doubt and forgive observe him or her for any changes and efforts made. On the other hand if he or she continues to hurt you continuously and doesn't care about your feelings then why continue to hold on? If you allow this type of behavior to persist you will eventually end up hurting yourself in the end. Don't be afraid to let go. Things happen for a reason which allows you to see everything for what it really was. When you find that special individual you will finally understand and appreciate true love.


4)    Love takes time and energy and can erode especially when bonds are broken and there isn't enough sparks compared to what you had in the beginning. This is where lack of chemistry comes in place. You will then need to re-evaluate your relationship and reconnect with one another by being open-minded and optimistic. If you need assistance with overcoming those hurdles visit Dr. Phil reconnecting with your partner. All relationships aren't perfect and have its ups and down but remaining as one through the toughest of time eventually builds unconditional love. However, that suggestion might not work for some of you depending on your situation so you will handle it accordingly.


5)    Financial stability is something everyone strives for because it supports our essential needs. It can make or break a relationship once a problem is detected. However, this shouldn't be the case . Don't give up, don't run from your problems and be honest. Try to work it out with your partner because better days are ahead. A support system for anyone facing such a dilemma is critical and can be fixed with hard work and perseverance. If you find this task unbearable then visit Marriage: Money Rules for Couples.


6)    Communication is one of the major concerns for a couple's separation. You should always communicate with your partner and have open discussions by never leaving anything up in the air. Always try to resolve your issues and try to work them out. That's why it's prudent to talk things through to get a better understanding which eliminates false assumptions and misjudgments. If you are searching for advice and suggestions on how to improve your communicate skills then visit ww.stressaboutit.com . You can also visit relationship health guides on the internet for vital tips and ideas about relationships. Knowing when to let go isn't easy but with support and informative information you can choose what's best for you.


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Thursday 1 December 2011

How to Have an Extramarital Affair Discretely

There are various reasons as to why a woman would want to have an affair and if you do not have an affair right (yes, there is a right way to have an affair), you could end up suffering through a hard divorce. Not only will you suffer from a hard divorce, but you could also end up in a great deal of danger. One of the biggest reasons a woman wants to have an affair is because they are lonely and wish to have someone to spend time with while their husband is away on a business trip or being deployed.


Thanks to the Internet, you can now have an affair. Sure, to those who despise affairs, this may not sound good, but for those who are wanting to have an affair, this is great news. There is a website that will connect you with hundreds, if not thousands of men that would not mind having an affair with you. These guys will already understand that you are married, so there will be no reason to hide this from them. They may even understand that this does not mean that you want to leave your husband.


Tips for Women Who Want to Have An Affair


If you plan on having an affair, you need to make sure you do not get caught in action. While your "boyfriend" may not mind you being married, your husband may be crushed to hear that you are cheating on him, so he must never find out. Let us give you some tips that will help you hide that affair from him.


Never Bring Your Lover Home - No matter what, you should never bring your lover into your home. You never really know when your husband is going to come home. Sure, you may think you know his estimated date/time of arrival, but you never know if he plans on surprising you. It would not be good for him to come home with you in bed with another man - that is a very hurtful scenario.


Not only do you have to worry about him showing up while you are with the guy, but you also have to worry about tell-tale signs. Your lover could accidentally leave something behind and you won't even realize it, until it is too late.


Some say to never give your lover your home phone number, but this tip is a bit worthless. Reason being is if he has your first and last name, he could easily find your number. It is important to talk to him and make sure he knows not to call your home.


Do Not Let Your Confidence Get the Best of You - If you get too confident in your ability to deceive your spouse, you could become too sure to yourself and this could cause you to become sloppy. In the end, women who become too confident in this area may end up getting caught.


Through the help of personals aimed specifically at those women who want to have an affair, you can successfully find a man to cheat with. Remember, it is important to be careful as there are many emotions involved with cheating.


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Wednesday 30 November 2011

Relationship Breakups: The Grief Stages of Couple Separation

Couples who have experienced a painfulrelationship breakup will often go through several stages as they cope with their loss. As the acclaimed psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross puts it, the stages of grieving chronicles how a person feels and copes during a relationship breakup.

As you read these stages, it's important to remember that this is not a linear process where a person will go through one stage at a time. Human beings are complex and can experience many feelings at the same time or not feel some of these things at all. Think of these stages as possible feelings that may come up for you when you end a relationship.

First Stage: Denial

The feeling:

At this point, you may block unwanted feelings or turn off their emotions.  There is a strong feeling of refutation that the relationship has ended, and you unwillingly hold on to the thought that the separation is just a phase. You may do everything possible to bring the relationship back to the way it was.

How to cope:

Denial is a stage that may or may not come again even after being able to move on to the succeeding stages. It is important that there is a mutual acknowledgement between both parties about the separation. After all, acknowledging that a problem exists is the first helpful step to properly cope with the breakup. As such, it is important to convince yourself that in spite of therelationship breakup, there are other things that you need to prioritise like school, work or leisure.

Second Stage: Anger

The feeling:

This occurs when you finally understand that the breakup is real. Whether you are angry with yourself or furious at your ex-partner for not keeping the relationship strong, anger is a normal feeling in emotionally stressful experiences. Although sometimes people refuse to acknowledge their anger, it is necessary to release all angry emotions.

How to deal:

It is important to let all your emotions go, rather than keeping all negative feelings inside. Bottling them up will make you burst into rage at any time when there is a trigger. Channel your anger through different recreational activities, such as exercising, painting and singing. Counselling or therapy is another anger management strategy that you can employ. By doing counselling, you are able to truly recognise your feelings and maybe even trace the roots of your anger.

Third Stage: Bargaining

The feeling:

Feelings of bargaining are easily assessed during a relationship breakup. This happens when compromises are made for the benefit of rebuilding the relationship. The affected person may think about making a deal with a supernatural being, or may consider talking with the ex-partner to make promises so that things can go back to how they were before. There is a strong tendency to converse with the ex-partner about working out the many issues and concerns that led to the breakup. Oftentimes, bargaining gives a reassuring feeling that the relationship can still be mended.

How to deal:

Find new activities to keep yourself busy. Being preoccupied with other things will keep your mind from the breakup. Instead of bargaining, try to rationalise the situation and explore why the relationship did not work out in some aspects. Recognising the reality of the problem is the key to proper coping.

Fourth Stage: Depression

The feeling:

Oftentimes when the bargaining does not work, you can fall into despair with the realisation that the relationship cannot be fixed. This stage sets in when there is a clear understanding that the relationship is indeed "over". Extreme feelings of sadness and loneliness consume the affected person, as well as a general loss of interest in many activities of daily living.

How to deal:

Depression is the best time to use all the effective coping mechanisms, as it is during this time that you may feel extremely down. It is important to reflect on why the breakup has happened, and noting the aspects that led to the separation.

Doing something new and continuing usual activities are recommended to maintain a normal living. Withdrawing yourself from the world is generally not advised, as it's important to spend time with your loved ones to reinforce social coping. Counselling or therapy is also an effective way to express your depressed feelings.

Fifth Stage: Acceptance

The feeling:

In this final stage, there is a willingness to finally let go and move on with life. You have fully comprehended that it is normal to feel hurt, and that the relationship breakup brings a whole new meaning for you.

How to deal:

By finally accepting the whole experience, you can now be the best person you can be. This is the best time to meet new friends and to mingle with a new crowd. Nevertheless, it's wise to know your limits and enjoy new experiences one step at a time. After all, one painful relationship breakup should not stop you to feel happy with the next.

Couple separation happens all the time to many people. Learning the stages of grief and how they apply during a relationship breakup will indeed help any person cope with a painful experience.


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Tuesday 29 November 2011

Servashu Manglam Seva Trust

Help the nation, help yourself through National Integration and Educational help

India was in servitude for a long span of time and now that the nation has managed to free itself from the shackles of slavery and has given its reins to the citizens of this country, one should have expected India to carve a niche for itself among its counterparts on a worldwide basis, given the bounties India has been blessed with. But unfortunately or not, the country is yet to showcase to the world its hidden prowess. Before that, let us first try to unite the people of this country which boasts of having the second largest population of the world .

Let us first try to overcome the various disruptive issues which come up every now and then in a country inhabited by probably the largest variety of people and by variety let us specify caste, religion and not to forget creed. Without being told, it is understood that the call of the hour is National Integration. The need to unite the people from different walks of life of this country into a single united thread so that the problems faced by us and by this country can be solved at the earliest.

National Integration needs to be taught and enforced not only on people who understand it but also on people who will grow up to understand it. It needs to be taught to the children from an early age when they can imbibe the true meaning of National Integration and not grow up to become individuals who discriminate or distinguish people on the basis of color of their skin or on the basis of the gods they worship and languages they speak.

And to make the effects of national integration more relevant, educational help needs to be provided to people to enable them to make themselves aware of not just worldly happenings but also to open their eyes to a whole new gamut of experiences and events that only an educated mind can see and decipher. Educational help holds a prime importance these days when on the sole basis of right education, villages have been revolutionized, dreams have been given wings and ignorance has been shown the door.

An educated man is a man looked up to and for those unable to make the right choice of education for them, education help is being made available to help them pick the suitable course.
An educated India and a united India should be the goals of every responsible citizen of India and National Integration and educational help are the tools that are bound to enable us to reach that goal!!!


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Monday 28 November 2011

Online Matrimony – A Boon to Modern India

A typical Indian wedding is much like a Bollywood movie that is celebrated with lots of music, dance and pomp. But before the celebrations begin, most Indian parents go through the inevitable dilemma of finding the right match for their children. Modern India has been able to effectively leverage from the internet age to build themselves a segment on internet portals that help parents; and prospective brides and grooms to optimize the benefits of the internet and find themselves the perfect math on an online matrimony website.

Technological Advances and its Impact on Indian Marriages

The technological advances have made online matrimony an extremely surging segment in the dot com sector. More and more prospective brides and grooms are registering themselves on these portals to find themselves a perfect match.

After spending sufficient time on a number of such web portals, you will realize that there are thousands of options for you in terms of choice of website that you can register on depending on your liking and pre-requisites in terms of the type of life partner that you are looking for.
Finding the Right Portal for your Needs

The internet consists of online matrimony websites that are generic as well as specific to religion, cast, region, profession etc. This is a fairly large leap from the conventional modes of finding you a partner which typically involved word of mouth in social circles, newspaper ads, middle men such as bureaus and brokers, etc. This technological advancement has definitely benefited a large segment of the Indian market that is constantly in need of the vast array of services that are being offered.

Tapping the NRI Segment

Additionally, consider the large number of youth that are moving out of the country for better career prospects. These segments of Indians are able to effectively benefit from internet matrimonial portals by gaining access to databases of an array of marriageable people. These portals allow people to browse through databases of thousands of registrants and contact the one's that interests them. On the other hand, it allows registrants to create profiles that can represent themselves online and effectively communicate with other people what it is that they are in search of exactly.

Breaking Social Barriers

Not only does this open doors for people to interact on a safe and secure platform but allows them to informally judge whether or not the people they get in touch with match their requirements or not, without having to actually worry about the social repercussions.

It is evident that irrespective of your background in terms of family, religion and profession, you are bound to find yourself a bride or groom that suites all your and your family member's requirements, from these wonderful internet based matrimonial tools. The overall progress in the value system of Indian families with the evolution of society in general has made it possible for such platforms to offer a vast number of benefits that make the entire match making process less stressful and more efficient for Indian families and their children.


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Sunday 27 November 2011

Definition of love

One of the most beautiful expression of love ever committed to the words found in the First Epistle of Paul to the Corinthians: Love is patient, love is kind ... It is not selfish ... but rejoices in the truth ... Love never fails. The love is that feeling of unity and euphoria, is now a mysterious and mystifying. This is a great force that keeps our souls, but it is too many, perhaps most, a slippery concept. Except to see the truth, alone and lost - the best hope for the best has the experience, but the taste, a preview of an important part of breathing incomplete, impressive reality. Because love is all you need. But we know better, we oppose the forces of persuasion to divine inheritance. I can fix the blame, responsibility and demand, then the error; they cling to their hypocritical lies.


We tried desperately to love the wrong places. Faith in love, we try to save, so that we are worthy to take the love to us. In vain, arrogant, evil, we must love our whole being, when not to allow the safest way to discover what we want. Finding love can end in an instant. You will experience true love, get lost - giving the ego. Love is a moment in front of you drops the ego and embrace, even momentarily, unshakable truth - all is one. Growing through a thousand steps humble, rejecting the ego and allow the truth, which matures in the greatness that is love. Learning, sharing and giving, regardless of their ego to unify the whole. Perfect love is the byproduct of promoting the interests of the other. Each meeting of two hearts, each family situation, every workplace, every social, every chance meeting is an opportunity to create, express, and revealing the love. It is beyond you. It is an expression of love, and the harvest and a time to celebrate the reunification of the divided soul. Love is the disinterested pursuit of the benefits of self than anything else.


Love can be found via the expression of love - acting as a good second - are not equal. True love is an expression of another good indicator of an asset - the ultimate good. Love is offered and received in a simple gesture. Open to the Spirit of truth, and listen to that still small voice. Responsible for all aspects of your life, like love, humility and intentions are in the spirit of the law. I accept the conditions you encounter a scrolling Have you ever forward towards the goal in mind plans for you to understand peace and joy, filled full of love. Love is sweet, love is kind. Love is steadfast in its search for truth. While faith is accepting the hidden truth and hope to know a future promise, love binds the faith and hope in action. You are in a dynamic world, a reality that is constantly evolving and unlimited possibilities. Choose to express love, commitment to your mind and how to find your way.


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