Relationship Breakups: The Grief Stages of Couple Separation

Couples who have experienced a painfulrelationship breakup will often go through several stages as they cope with their loss. As the acclaimed psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross puts it, the stages of grieving chronicles how a person feels and copes during a relationship breakup.

As you read these stages, it's important to remember that this is not a linear process where a person will go through one stage at a time. Human beings are complex and can experience many feelings at the same time or not feel some of these things at all. Think of these stages as possible feelings that may come up for you when you end a relationship.

First Stage: Denial

The feeling:

At this point, you may block unwanted feelings or turn off their emotions.  There is a strong feeling of refutation that the relationship has ended, and you unwillingly hold on to the thought that the separation is just a phase. You may do everything possible to bring the relationship back to the way it was.

How to cope:

Denial is a stage that may or may not come again even after being able to move on to the succeeding stages. It is important that there is a mutual acknowledgement between both parties about the separation. After all, acknowledging that a problem exists is the first helpful step to properly cope with the breakup. As such, it is important to convince yourself that in spite of therelationship breakup, there are other things that you need to prioritise like school, work or leisure.

Second Stage: Anger

The feeling:

This occurs when you finally understand that the breakup is real. Whether you are angry with yourself or furious at your ex-partner for not keeping the relationship strong, anger is a normal feeling in emotionally stressful experiences. Although sometimes people refuse to acknowledge their anger, it is necessary to release all angry emotions.

How to deal:

It is important to let all your emotions go, rather than keeping all negative feelings inside. Bottling them up will make you burst into rage at any time when there is a trigger. Channel your anger through different recreational activities, such as exercising, painting and singing. Counselling or therapy is another anger management strategy that you can employ. By doing counselling, you are able to truly recognise your feelings and maybe even trace the roots of your anger.

Third Stage: Bargaining

The feeling:

Feelings of bargaining are easily assessed during a relationship breakup. This happens when compromises are made for the benefit of rebuilding the relationship. The affected person may think about making a deal with a supernatural being, or may consider talking with the ex-partner to make promises so that things can go back to how they were before. There is a strong tendency to converse with the ex-partner about working out the many issues and concerns that led to the breakup. Oftentimes, bargaining gives a reassuring feeling that the relationship can still be mended.

How to deal:

Find new activities to keep yourself busy. Being preoccupied with other things will keep your mind from the breakup. Instead of bargaining, try to rationalise the situation and explore why the relationship did not work out in some aspects. Recognising the reality of the problem is the key to proper coping.

Fourth Stage: Depression

The feeling:

Oftentimes when the bargaining does not work, you can fall into despair with the realisation that the relationship cannot be fixed. This stage sets in when there is a clear understanding that the relationship is indeed "over". Extreme feelings of sadness and loneliness consume the affected person, as well as a general loss of interest in many activities of daily living.

How to deal:

Depression is the best time to use all the effective coping mechanisms, as it is during this time that you may feel extremely down. It is important to reflect on why the breakup has happened, and noting the aspects that led to the separation.

Doing something new and continuing usual activities are recommended to maintain a normal living. Withdrawing yourself from the world is generally not advised, as it's important to spend time with your loved ones to reinforce social coping. Counselling or therapy is also an effective way to express your depressed feelings.

Fifth Stage: Acceptance

The feeling:

In this final stage, there is a willingness to finally let go and move on with life. You have fully comprehended that it is normal to feel hurt, and that the relationship breakup brings a whole new meaning for you.

How to deal:

By finally accepting the whole experience, you can now be the best person you can be. This is the best time to meet new friends and to mingle with a new crowd. Nevertheless, it's wise to know your limits and enjoy new experiences one step at a time. After all, one painful relationship breakup should not stop you to feel happy with the next.

Couple separation happens all the time to many people. Learning the stages of grief and how they apply during a relationship breakup will indeed help any person cope with a painful experience.

UK Dating Website, Dating In London, Dating For Disabled UK, Disabled Dating Website, Date A Millionaire, Date The Rich, Disabled Dating Site, Adult Dating Website, Naughty Dating, Soulmates Dating Buddies, Midnight Love, Online Dating Website, Senior Dating Website, Mature Dating, Christian Dating Singles Soulmates Dating Buddies, Midnight Love, Hookup Heaven Adult Dating. Visit now and register for the optimal chance of finding the right partner for you. Source.

Intimacy Meditations

Lately, meditations center around Intimacy. The frequency of which it is longingly spoken of by both genders has been sucker punching me with astounding regularity in the last few months.

Love and IntimacyFear of IntimacyHow to achieve Intimacy

It is everywhere in the media, obnoxious in its ubiquity.  Clients talk about lacking it, friends chat about it in various public places and everyone, in a relationship or not, wants it or to somehow improve it.

As I listen deeply to the content of conversations around this most confusing of subjects, it becomes obvious that few really know what it is.  Some call manipulative jabbering intimacy, while others seem obsessed with domesticating it and yoking to a predetermined course.  Almost all think of intimacy in terms of a romantic relationship and nothing else.

In any event, few possess the knowledge that true intimacy requires; that real intimacy is about being in that moment fully active and present with all that is happening within you and around you.  Real intimacy is not about some supposedly advanced Tantric sexual technique or  artificial "I feel.." statements.  These are delusions of closeness, prostituted and pimped out as the real thing. It is the quick fix for those seeking the easy route to intimacy.

When Intimacy is applied to love, it should be simple to be in that moment with your lover, to hear his breath, to absorb the sight of his long thighs and to be delighted with the playful idea that they seemingly are as long as your arms.  Or see her beautiful neck, swooping down into a graceful curved shoulder and to deeply appreciate the art of it.  And this is it; true intimacy, particularly in the context of love, is gratitude and wonder.  Simple to say and yet there is so much more depth beyond the superficial meaning of the mere words we all utter on these occasions.

Words make it difficult to tune out our chattering monkey mind so we can be really intimate with what our lover is. Our lover drowns in a barrage of our needy words and we choke ourselves with these meaningless sounds.  Noisy mental interference is why most people never achieve the even the basic moments of intimacy so desperately yearned for and sought so greedily.  For like spoiled toddlers,  we whine and cry for more, more, gimme more!  We can't hear any thing else over all our loud screaming except those fearful internal voices shouting out about getting their needs met.  Howling loudly for our lover's attention, we get nothing but empty promises to pacify us, just for time being.  Sadly, this is what passes for intimacy in most relationships: the mistaken idea that this type of empty verbal communication is communion with another human soul, that sexuality is an adjunct to this silly chatter.

Entitlement also masquerades as Intimacy.  "I've told you my secrets, so now you owe it to me to tell me yours"  becomes the battle cry for possessiveness, a close ally of entitlement.  A false ownership occurs once these exchanges happen, particularly if that ownership becomes codified by legal documentation. Between humans, intimacy is a gift that means nothing if not given freely.  It is wild and not likely to survive enforced domesticity or coercive monogamy.  I know of no surer way to kill an intimate relationship of any sort than to demand some one be more open to you or insist they are too wary or fearful of intimacy for your tastes.  That is our fear speaking, our insecurities and not theirs.  This too is not truly intimacy.

Intimacy must occur within our own selves with all things in both our inner and outer worlds before it can ignite with another human.  Then it becomes a rare and precious gift that lasts but a single spontaneous moment and is enough to nourish for a life time.  Once given, it is not obligatory for that other person to be in our life for the rest of theirs. They have delivered their priceless gift to you; appreciate it for its specialness and rarity.  Do not demand a school girl or boy fantasy in which intimacy of this sort is a routine event. This is not what a lover, spouse or friend does, not really.  It is, however, what pop culture sells and we lazily buy for gospel truth.

My contemplative answer to the intimacy issue: be aware, be kind and be grateful.  No one owes you love or intimacy and there is no honest formula for obtaining it from them.  Let it happen out of spontaneity, let it be freely given and deeply felt.  Develop your own intimacy with life, an intimacy as singular and unique as you are. Perhaps then, and only then, you will then be graced with a most wonderful treasure - a moment of true intimacy with another human being.

UK Dating Website, Dating In London, Dating For Disabled UK, Disabled Dating Website, Date A Millionaire, Date The Rich, Disabled Dating Site, Adult Dating Website, Naughty Dating, Soulmates Dating Buddies, Midnight Love, Online Dating Website, Senior Dating Website, Mature Dating, Christian Dating Singles Soulmates Dating Buddies, Midnight Love, Hookup Heaven Adult Dating. Visit now and register for the optimal chance of finding the right partner for you. Source.

Wedding Venues in the East of Essex

Every girl has always dreamed of their own perfect wedding, achieving it must be the ultimate goal. Choosing a venue that is right for you can be distressing.

All venues in East Essex offer different experiences.

Stockbrook Country club in Stock, Three Rivers Club in Cold Norton and Creaksea Place in Burnham are all beautiful venues to hold an outdoor wedding. They have lovely views and grounds plus rooms that can hold a small or large wedding. If you would prefer to hold your entire wedding day in one place they also carry out civil ceremonies. All three venues have superb indoor facilities too, particularly Three Rivers which was completely modernized in 1996.

On a sunny day Creaksea Place is particularly attractive. They hold civil ceremonies in the house or in the dramatic walled garden. For the wedding breakfast and evening reception they have a beautiful silk lined marquee in the grounds with splendid views of the house. The house is lit with spotlights and hundreds of candles as dusk approaches.

Five Lakes in Maldon and The Lawn in Rochford offer similar services.

If you wanted to travel a little further for your wedding venue then Frien Manor, in Chelmford, Leez Priory in Chelmsford or Orsett Hall in Grays are also beautiful.

Saxon Hall in Southend is a lesser known venue but can cater for small weddings for 20 or even up to 400 for an evening reception. They have a number of rooms to choose from and claim that they know that each wedding reception is unique and important and that they go that extra mile to ensure that your day is one to remember. Civil ceremonies can also be held on site.

The bespoke marriage room at The Rochford Hotel, in Rochford,has been purpose built and designed for todays brides'. They claim that her requirements, expectations, and more importantly, that her dreams become a reality.

Other function suites such as The Westcliff Hotel and The Hollywood Restaurant in Benfleet provide the chance for the bride and groom to hire a room and a menu that they can taylor to their own needs.

Whatever the wedding venue in Essex, they should be able to adapt and cater for what you want. If they can't then you have the wrong venue.

UK Dating Website, Dating In London, Dating For Disabled UK, Disabled Dating Website, Date A Millionaire, Date The Rich, Disabled Dating Site, Adult Dating Website, Naughty Dating, Soulmates Dating Buddies, Midnight Love, Online Dating Website, Senior Dating Website, Mature Dating, Christian Dating Singles Soulmates Dating Buddies, Midnight Love, Hookup Heaven Adult Dating. Visit now and register for the optimal chance of finding the right partner for you. Source.