Saturday 5 November 2011

5 Disastrous Online Dating Mistakes

Successful online dating is a lot like marketing a new product--it doesn't matter how good the product is if you can't get anyone to try it.

So what keeps women from "trying out" a guy using an online dating service? Usually it's the same handful of mistakes.

Avoid these online dating mistakes and you'll be already be ahead of at least half of your competition...

1) Opening with a physical compliment

When making first contact on an online dating site, never come right out of the gate with a compliment about a woman's attractiveness. This is counterproductive and makes you look weak and shallow.

Any time you contact a woman who has posted a profile picture, it's a given that you're attracted to her looks. So stop wasting valuable time on this. There are hundreds of losers online who are happy to make fawning compliments to an attractive woman. Yours will not impress.

A little bit of flattery is fine. Just keep it low-key and do it by mentioning something other than her beauty.

2) Mentioning your dating history in your profile

Your online dating profile is like an advertisement. And while you don't want to go over-the-top with positive comments about yourself, you also want to avoid sending a negative message.

If there's one area that guys shoot themselves in the foot, it's in going into great detail about their dating frustrations and failures. Avoid statements like, "I just can't seem to find the right person." Well, of course you haven't found the right person. Otherwise you wouldn't still be looking.

Everyone is in the same boat, so there's no need to get into details about divorces, bad breakups or anything else.

Remember, there is no longer a negative stigma attached to using online dating services. You don't have to justify it, excuse it, or even mention why you're meeting women this way. It's a tool, nothing more and nothing less.

3) Appearing desperate

If you want to have success in online dating, you have to present yourself as a prize worth winning. This starts with avoiding making desperate statements like, "I know I might not be your type, but I hope you give me a chance."

If you don't hear back after messaging a woman, don't immediately follow-up. Wait for a few days and send one and only one follow-up message. Likewise, avoid drunk messaging at all costs--you'll only end up looking foolish.

And finally, don't send messages at 3am on a Saturday night. It makes it look like you have nothing else going on in your life. If you have the discipline, it's best to avoid sending messages on Friday and Saturday all together.

4) Failing to post a profile photo

According to a study of online dating habits cited in the book, Freakonomics, women are eight times more likely to click a profile with a picture than one that doesn't have one. That's a stat you simply can't afford to ignore.

Failing to post a profile picture sends up a giant red flag for women. "What are you hiding?" they wonder. Don't fool yourself into thinking that your looks don't count. People want to quickly sift through potential dates quickly online. If you don't post a photo, they won't bother investigating further.

A lot of men don't post photos because they lack confidence in their looks. If you're one of them, don't let that be a deterrent.

Here are some online profile picture tips that'll get you the kind of attention you're looking for.

5) Choosing the wrong category

Just about every dating site has some type of "looking for" boxes to check when you sign up. If you want to maximize your dating options, always check both "dating" and "long term relationship."

Here's why: Checking only "long term relationship" makes you look needy while checking only "dating" or "just looking for fun" makes you look unserious or worse like some sort of sex crazed creeper.

For most women, there's a lot of wiggle room in these categories. A woman who wants a long term relationship might be willing to have a short term sexual fling under the right circumstances. A woman who "just wants to date" will always be open to a relationship if she finds the right guy.

So for you, it makes sense for you to play in both worlds by choosing both categories.


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